


sweet dreams are made of these

by CapnShellhead



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Avengers Vol. 3 (1998), Insomnia, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Stony Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 18:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17606459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: Steve is having a rough time. He isn't sleeping and he's spending all his time alone until Tony takes notice and tries to help. During one of these late night talks, Steve realizes he may be interested in more than friendship.





	sweet dreams are made of these

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to get in those last squares for the Stony bingo deadline. This was an idea I'd had for a while after reading Captain America (1998). 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Check end notes for more information.

Steve awoke with a gasp.

Heart racing, sweat dripping down his nose, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Unsettled, his eyes darted from left to right, peering into the pitch-black darkness for any sign of a threat. Ears trained, hands curled into fists. Finding nothing, he tried to calm himself, a hand pressed to his chest when there was a knock on his door.

A voice called out, “Hey, Cap? You planning on coming down for breakfast some time this century?” Tony. Steve let out a slow breath, dropping some of his defense. “You’re kind of worrying us,” he added with a nervous laugh.

Clearing his throat, Steve gripped the sheets and replied, “Yes, sorry. I’m just… picking up around here. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Tony knocked once on the door in response before continuing down the hall. Lying back in the damp, cool sheets, Steve stared at the dark ceiling, shivering in the chilled air. The last thing he remembered was going to bed in his apartment. He must be more out of it than usual this morning.

Climbing out of bed, he ran a hand through his hair and padded over to the window, drawing back the heavy curtains. Sunlight invaded, washing over him in warm, golden light. It had to be past eight or nine in the morning. No wonder Tony was worried. Sighing, he rubbed at his eyes and began getting ready for the day.

It wasn’t that Steve didn’t appreciate having a room at the mansion. All things considered, he was more than lucky to have more than one place to hang his hat. There were many people that didn’t have any place to call home and he was grateful for his good fortune. However, that didn’t mean he didn’t long for the quiet of his own apartment from time to time. As nice as it was to be surrounded by the team, sometimes he just wanted to be left alone.

After what happened with Carol, Steve found himself desiring time alone more and more often. After seeing how dedicated Carol was to this team, how she’d resisted retirement from the team at the expense of her own health.  Steve had devoted so much of his time to this team and he’d started to wonder if, perhaps, he might need to figure out who he was without them.

He was almost certain he’d gone to bed in his apartment but, perhaps something had come up and he’d crashed here.

He made his way down the halls, following the sounds of cutlery on porcelain. Clint’s voice echoed down the hall as he boasted about some grand feat of gymnastics he’d accomplished the night before. Wanda’s laugh joined his own and Steve smiled, entering the dining room to find everyone gathered around the table. Tony was in the kitchen, trying and failing to keep Jarvis from placing more food on his plate.

Steve joined them, leaning against the counter as Tony insisted, “You feed me too much already. I have to fit in my armor, you know?”

“How many times do I have to stress the importance of a healthy breakfast?” Jarvis asked.

Sipping his coffee, Tony waved a gauntlet at Jarvis. “I’ve got work to do.”

Shaking his head, Steve grabbed a plate and began moving down the line, piling food on top. “He’s right, you know? You really should eat more,” Steve began, knowing damn well it would go in one ear and out the other.

To his surprise, Tony sighed and set the gauntlet down on the counter. Rubbing at his eyes tiredly, he nodded and muttered, “You’re right. I can take five minutes.”

Steve blinked at him for a second before smiling a little. “Really?”

Tony returned his smile with a sheepish grin. “For my favorite captain? Of course.”

Face warming, Steve returned to overloading his plate. “I’m your only captain.”

“That you know of,” Tony replied slyly, taking the plate from Jarvis and heading over to the table.

 

 

Breakfast was a rather somber affair. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a quiet morning without an emergency call or having to rush off to a meeting with Fury. It was nice to just relax and share a meal with his team. Although, it reminded him that, while they all had other things going on in their private lives, Steve very much did not.

After things ended for good with Sharon, he’d been more than a little hesitant to enter into something new. Now, he’d begun to wonder if he’d engaged in the concept of a relationship purely out of envy, or because he’d _actually_ wanted those things for himself. Hearing Wanda talk about her nights out with Simon and Vance’s fond arguments with Angel, Steve remained envious, but it seemed such connections were unobtainable for him.

More importantly, Steve had bigger problems to worry about. Rebuilding his reputation after being impersonated by that skrull, finding a suitable replacement for his shield and figure out what was going on with this wave of rogue mood swings and violence around the city. The people didn’t have time for Captain America to have a mid-life crisis.

“Hey, Cap? You alright?” Tony asked. Steve looked up from his plate to find Tony studying him concernedly.

Trying for a smile, he nodded. “I’m fine. Just busy.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“No,” Steve answered firmly. At Tony’s confusion, he laughed, scratching the back of his head. “It’s… not really something you can help with.”

“I’m pretty well versed in a variety of subjects. I think I can handle it.”

Hiding a smile, Steve rested his chin in hand. “Tony, it’s not that kind of problem. I’m just…” _Lonely and sad_ . “Realizing I don’t have time for the things, or the _people_ , I thought I would a few years ago. It’s been an embarrassingly long time since I’ve gone on any dates.”

Tony’s eyes widened a bit as he nodded slowly. “Right. Well, that’s still something I can help with.” Steve’s face warmed as he waited for Tony to explain that, surely, he didn’t mean it the way it sounded. “It’s not like I see any date nights in my future either.”

“I thought you were seeing someone new?”

“It’s not serious.” He didn’t sound too broken up about it. “We’re both pretty busy and our lives don’t intersect much.”

The answer left Steve feeling a little uneasy, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. Instead, he averted his gaze to his plate for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Is it someone you found worth pursuing?”

Tony gave him an odd look, almost considering before he stared into his nearly empty coffee cup. “That’s the problem with me.”

He tapped his finger on the rim, a nervous tick Steve had missed. Tony had such beautiful hands. It was one of the first things Steve had noticed about him when they met – as Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. Tony had confidently reached out for a handshake with these long, graceful fingers, surprisingly calloused for a rich man. Of course, Steve found out why later on but, at the time, he’d been struck by how strong and skilled Tony’s hand had felt in his own. Lost in the easy way Tony had flung an arm around Steve’s shoulders and led him down the hall for a tour.

Now, Tony tapped those beautiful fingers along the porcelain edge of his coffee cup and continued on. “Everyone’s worth something to me. At a certain point, I’ve got to stop and wonder if I just like the chase.” He offered a tightlipped smile, his gaze almost avoidant. “If I never win, I can pretend it’s just because I haven’t met the right one yet. The ‘perfect match’. Maybe I don’t want to win.”

“You want to be happy, don’t you?” Steve asked. He’d meant it to sound playful but, in a way, it really wasn’t. He’d known Tony long enough and he’d noticed that, sometimes, it really felt like Tony didn’t think he deserved to be happy.

Shrugging, Tony pushed his half empty plate away and rose from the table. “That’s the million-dollar question.” He leaned in close to Steve’s ear, his breath warm and sending a shiver down his spine. “Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Steve watched him leave, that unsettled feeling returning. The others continued chattering around him, Jan shooting a brief smile before returning to Clint. Steve pushed his food around his plate listless and lost in thought.

Once again, surrounded by his team and feeling more alone than ever.

+

When Iron Man dropped down, he stumbled, hand coming down hard on a nearby sedan with a sickening crunch. Steve hurried towards him, reigning in his light shield the very second the helmet came off.

Flushed and dizzy, Tony’s eyes clenched shut as his arm curled around his stomach. “What is it?” Steve asked, helping prop him up against the side of the car.

“It’s nothing,” Tony panted, his voice unsteady, his hair in disarray. “I’m just a little tired, is all.”

“No, he’s not. He’s not supposed to be here,” Thor declared, striding forward thunderously. “Jane put him on permanent bed rest.”

“I’m fine,” Tony insisted, even as his knees nearly buckled. Steve was holding him up entirely now, forcing down his concern and keeping his voice firm.

“Let’s get you home.”

“Steve—”

“Home. Now.”

Sighing, Tony allowed Steve to help him to a transport van. Normally, they’d fly back with the others but, Steve didn’t trust Tony to actually go up to bed and take care of himself.

 

 

On the ride back, Tony shot him a few curious glances before staring straight ahead. Finally, he whispered, “You’re angry.”

Clenching his fist, Steve focused on the strained leather over his knuckles. “I’m not.”

“You are.”

Steve met his gaze. “I’m furious.” Tony’s eyes widened, breath catching. “You went into a fight injured.”

“I wasn’t—”

“You knowingly disobeyed medical orders and went into a fight injured. Not only did you risk your life, you risked everyone else’s. How would you have felt if we’d lost a member of the team when they tried to protect you? If you’d been too late or in too poor condition to have their back? You barely made it out of that fight intact.”

He expected an argument or more sullen silence. Instead, Tony swallowed his pride. Nodding once, he averted his gaze. “I didn’t think about it that way.”

“You never do, Tony. You always think we’re trying to bench you because we think you’re less of an asset to the team and that’s just not true.” Tony’s mouth worked, brow furrowed but he remained silent. This was the longest Steve had managed to lecture Tony without some kind of argument. “This isn’t going to work if you take everything on yourself and don’t let us help you. We’re a _team_.”

Tony’s jaw tensed, but he didn’t argue. “I’ll go home.”

Steve smiled. “No choice. We’re two minutes out.”

“I know but… I’ll stay home this time.”

Steve studied him for a minute but, it looked like Tony really meant it. Nodding, he leaned back in his seat. A few moments passed in silence before he offered, “I’ll keep you company?”

Tony blinked at him, a smile spreading across his face. Steve felt his heart skip a beat, his cheeks warming. “That’d be nice.”

 

 

Jarvis baked a pie. A surprising kindness considering he took one look at the extra-large pizza beneath Steve’s arm and shook his head in that disapproving way that let Steve know he was in the doghouse for the time being.

No matter, Tony actually complied and went up to his room when they got back to the mansion. Steve set the pizza box on the dresser as Tony got out of his armor and padded into the bathroom. Even respectfully turning away, Steve still caught a glimpse of tanned skin and a firm backside before the bathroom door closed and the shower started.

Blushing, Steve sat down on the bed and studied the room. He rarely came here. Most days, if he wanted to find Tony, he’d try the lab first. This room looked as though Tony only used it for sleeping and even that was a rarity. It had nice furniture, remnants of Tony’s life with his parents. The walls held very few pictures: one of Tony with a blond woman, one of him with the team, one with Rhodey and one with Jan and Carol. They were all in mismatched frames, as though gifted to him.  

For a man that thought of himself as a loner, Tony sure had a lot of friends. Steve was proud to consider himself one of them. Most days, he marveled at that concept: Mr. Futurist had found a friend in the anachronism that time forgot. Some days, Steve felt adrift, lost in a world that had moved on from everything he’d ever known. Those days when he walked the streets that were both remarkably familiar and startlingly different all the same. Days when Steve was tempted to curl up in bed and shut everything out.

Days when Tony would just _know_ Steve needed him, that he needed company. Someone to keep him from getting lost in his head. Days when Tony would drum up some invention that required heavy lifting or some movie that Steve just _had_ to see. Those days when Steve was incredibly grateful for the family he’d found here.

Even if it meant days like this when Tony padded barefoot out of the shower, unaware of the loud pounding of Steve’s heart and the heat coursing through him. “Sorry about dripping water everywhere, Cap. Can you hand me the towel on the dresser?”

Steve leapt to his feet, grabbing the bright pink cotton and handing it over with a flourish. Rather than head back into the bathroom to get dressed, Tony came closer, the toned muscles of his thighs tensing as he wrapped the much too small towel around his waist. Steve watched avidly as rivulets of waterdrops dripped down the toned planes of Tony’s abdominals, cutting a trail past the cotton waistband. Mouth watering, Steve forced his eyes upward, hands clenched in the comforter beneath him.

Tony was an attractive man. Steve wasn’t unaware of that. Even knowing what the public would say if they knew he had thoughts like that, even knowing they would have gotten him court martialed or worst in the past, it was a simple fact Steve had acknowledged early in their friendship. Tony was gorgeous: tall, dark and tan with bright blue eyes that held secrets Steve was almost afraid to know. He was funny, adventurous and brilliant as all get out. He was one of Steve’s best friends and he was utterly unattainable.

At times like this, being around Tony was both a blessing and a curse. Arousal pooled in Steve’s stomach, his gaze threatening to drop to the tantalizingly loose towel wrapped around Tony’s waist. It appeared to slip, inch by inch, every minute and Steve cursed the part of him that wished Tony would let it fall. Tony’s stomach flexed as he ran a hand over his wet curls, padding over to the dresser. Bending over, Steve cleared his throat and focused on the clock on the far wall. Tony pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, answering one question about his undergarments that Steve had always been too afraid to ask.

Tony sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching for the pizza box excitedly. “I’m starving.” Pulling out a slice, he tipped his head back and took a big bite, a low moan escaping.

Steve’s face burned, focused on grabbing his own slice. “You should eat more.”

“Hey, we don’t all have that super soldier metabolism.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You’re in perfect shape, Tony.”

“You’re a little flatterer today,” Tony preened. “You must want something.”

“Same thing I’ve always wanted: for you to take better care of yourself.”

Sighed, Tony averted his gaze. For a second, Steve feared this would lead to another argument. Instead, Tony nodded, scratching at his brow. “You’re right. I’ll do better.” At Steve’s surprise, he shrugged. “What? I can be swayed when I have food.”

 

+

Steve didn’t dream about Bucky often these days.

On this night, he awoke in a cold sweat, the feel of sea spray against his skin so vivid that he clenched the sheet in terror. Panting, heart pounding in his chest, it took a few moments before he’d calmed enough to realize where he was.

Pushing the damp sheets back and sat up, gazing into the darkness. Climbing out of bed, he shuffled into the bathroom down the hall, splashing water on his face. He took a few dee breaths, trying to gauge if he’d be able to get any more sleep tonight. Usually, it was a lost cause. Perhaps he could go down to the gym and try to wear himself out.

He turned the light out and left the bathroom, nearly mowing Tony down in the hall. Startled, Tony let out a shout, clutching his chest.

“Oh, Steve! You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing up this late?”

Steve helped him find his balance, apologizing profusely. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He ran a hand over his head, offering a sheepish smile. “Couldn’t sleep.”

Tony offered a soft smile in return. “Been there.”

“I’m just stressed out and trying to figure out these strange incidents cropping up all over the city. Ordinary people, no criminal records, no history of violence – just losing their minds and attacking their coworkers and families. I should probably focus on that. I’m not getting any more sleep tonight,” he said with a sigh.

Tony frowned, the corner of his mouth ticking up. “Tell you what, I was just about to make myself a cup of coffee, but you look like you could use a pick me up.”

“Yeah? What did you have in mind?”

 

 

“Maureen used to sneak me candy when I was a kid,” Tony said, holding his coffee mug tight to his chest. “I’ve been coming here for as long as I can remember.”

Leaning back in the booth, Steve scanned the quiet diner, the children’s drawings on the walls, the plastic placemats on the tables. This didn’t look like the usual spot for the wealthy. The surprise must show on his face because Tony offers a wry grin.

“My mother donated a lot to charity and sometimes she partnered with local businesses. Maureen’s father worked with her to provide leftover food to shelters and cater desserts for some of her events.”

Nodding, Steve dug into the apple pie in front of him. “She sounds nice. Your mother.”

“She was.” Tony tapped his fingers along the coffee cup. “Put up with my eccentricities. I had a lot of weird hobbies.”

“I bet,” Steve replied kindly. “I meant to ask, how did you feel about being a knight in Arthurian times? Was it everything you hoped it would be?”

Tony’s eyes lit up as he laughed, circling the rim of his coffee mug. “It was everything and more! I got all the glamor without the disease and unwashed feeling of only showering once a year.”

Steve laughed, taking in Tony’s joy. “That was definitely a plus.”

“I wish I remembered more of it. You know, I hate magic,” he added. “I got to wear genuine armor and hold a real sword. And you know I have a thing for men in chainmail.”

“Really?” Steve asked, a little louder than he intended.

Tony’s eyes lit up with amusement as he chided, “You knew that.”

Steve licked his lips, choosing his words carefully. Leaning forward, he scratched his brow as he lowered his voice. “Well, I knew you had a thing for Arthurian armor but… I didn’t know you had a thing for men in chainmail.”

Tony sipped his coffee, quietly dropping his cup to the table top as he averted his gaze. “I didn’t take you for a homophobe, Cap.”

“I’m not,” Steve insisted. Straightening up, he firmly added, “I think it’s incredibly brave to stand up and tell the world who you love.”

Stifling a laugh, Tony resting his chin and hand, relaxing bit by bit. It hurt to think Tony had worried Steve would react poorly to his reveal. “I’m not in love with some ren-faire LARPer. I’m just saying, I realized pretty early on that there are a lot of beautiful women in the world,” his eyes darkened as he added, “and there are a lot of attractive men, too. Maybe I’ll settle down with a woman down the line. Or, maybe I’ll meet a man that’ll make me very, very happy. All I know for sure is that I’m just as open to either possibility.”

Steve nodded, chewing on his lip. That familiar anxiety reared its ugly head. That nervous feeling that Tony had shared something personal about himself and Steve should offer something in return. Years of hiding and ignoring the part of himself that understood what Tony meant, with startling clarity, left him tongue tied.

Instead, he offered a smile and asked, “And the chainmail does it for you?”

Tony grasped his train of thought in seconds. “Yes, I’ve been attracted to you in your suit.” Smiling to himself, he added, “I wish I remembered more of you in the suit of armor when we fought Morgan le Fay. I’m surprised I was even able to focus on the fight. That’s an image straight out of my wet dreams.”

Steve’s stomach twisted, face warming. “Really?”

Tony’s smile widened, an indecipherable look in his eye. “You’re an attractive man, Winghead. I know I don’t have to tell you that. You in authentic Arthurian armor? I don’t know how I functioned.”

Steve studied him intently, heart beating wildly in his chest. “You find me attractive in my suit,” he began slowly. Tony nodded. “Do you find me attractive outside of it?”

“Have you seen yourself lately?”

“You know what I mean, Tony.”

Tony averted his gaze, taking a deep breath. Muttering, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” He leaned back in the booth as he met Steve’s eyes. “I’ve been attracted to you since the day we met.”

Steve’s breath caught. “You have?” Tony nodded, scratching at his chin nervously. There were several thoughts running through Steve’s mind but the question that escaped surprised them both. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You’re really asking me that? You had no idea I was even interested in men.”

“I know but, if I had…” he swallowed the end of his sentence, watching Tony’s eyes widen in question.

If Tony had told him sooner, then what? It wasn’t like anything would have come of it. It wasn’t like Tony intended to do anything about it. He’d dated several women over the years and he led such a busy life. Steve knew very well that sexual attraction didn’t always translate to compatibility. Steve had never been interested in meaningless sex.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep secrets from me,” Steve finished awkwardly.

Tony’s shoulders fell, almost disappointed. “Everyone has secrets, Cap. It’s just human nature. Be glad this was one of the harmless ones,” he offered with a wink.

+

Tony took Steve to the diner quite a few times.

He never outright said he was worried about Steve’s sleepless night, but Steve knew that was the cause. Sure, they’d spent time together before but, after that first night, Tony watched him a lot closer. Steve certainly wasn’t complaining. Truth be told, it was nice having Tony all to himself for a few hours every night.

One night, Tony was late to meet for their usual trip to the diner. Steve went to find him, walking the quiet halls to Tony’s office. As he approached the door, he heard Tony speaking in hushed tones.

“No… no, I can’t right now.” A pause. “Because it’s not the right time. You know I’m still on shaky ground with him. He’ll never go for it. He’s stubborn. You gotta give me more time.” He hung up, his back turned to Steve where he stood in the doorway. Tony ran a hand over his head, cursing quietly.

Steve knocked on the doorjamb. Tony jumped a little, turning towards Steve with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony replied hurriedly. Glancing at the clock, he moved over to grab his jacket. “I’m late, aren’t I? Sorry about that. I just had to clear something up with Mrs. Arbogast.”

Steve nodded, watching as Tony moved past him into the hall. Tony had always been pretty damn good at lying. He never seemed to find it the least bit difficult. While Steve very much doubted Tony had been on the phone with Mrs. Arbogast, if he had to wager, he’d bet Tony would have a perfectly believable explanation if pressed. Something about Stark International or rebranding for the team. Perhaps Steve was being too distrustful. Perhaps Tony really had been speaking with Mrs. Arbogast.

After everything with Mentallo and Tony forcing everyone, including his friends, to forget his secret identity, he’d promised to be more honest with Steve. That and the fact that he’d given up his time, and _sleep_ , for Steve the past month, Steve owed it to him to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he hadn’t been speaking to Mrs. Arbogast, but that didn’t mean he was doing anything sinister.

“Let’s get going. I’m starving,” Tony called out, shooting him a grin as he stood in the hall. Steve followed, lost in thought.

+

Steve returned home after a lengthy debrief with SHIELD, only to find a message from Tony waiting on his answering machine.

 _“Hey Steve, I actually have time to myself before one AM tonight and I wanted to spend it with my favorite Captain,”_ he began.

Steve shuffled through the apartment, pulling down the top of his suit. “I’m your only—”

 _“Yes, I know, you’re my_ only _Captain. Anyway, meet me at the mansion? Around seven?”_

The message ended, leaving Steve with a nervous rush of excitement. As much time as he’d been spending with Tony, it was easy to pretend it was all out of the kindness of Tony’s heart. He’d always been considerate of Steve’s adjustment to the future; concerned about his less than healthy methods of coping with his grief. Hearing that Tony finally had a free night and he’d _chosen_ to spend it with Steve had certainly helped him feel less like a burden.

 

 

When Steve arrived at the mansion, the lights were all out.

On alert, Steve tensed, poised to fight as he opened the front door and listened intently. Hearing nothing, he moved in slowly, calling out, “Tony? You here?”

His steps echoed throughout the dark mansion as he stepped into the living room. The lights flipped on.

“Surprise!”

Stunned, Steve froze in place as the room erupted into applause and cheers, the team and at least forty others rushing forward to pull him into hugs. Steve welcomed them, scanning the room for Tony.

Jan stood on her toes, her tiny arms wrapped tight around his waist. “Happy birthday, big guy!” she cheered, pinching his cheek. “How old are you now? A hundred?”

“Haha,” Steve said, accepting the kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

The room was packed, wall to wall with nearly every Avenger that had ever served and their partners. Jarvis stood in the back, trying to serve everyone champagne. Finally, Steve found Tony, hovering off to the side and sneaking peeks at Steve before returning to his conversation with Sam. Steve started to head over that way when Wanda pulled him towards the kitchen to offer him food.

Hours later, when Steve had finally managed to free himself, he found Tony standing on the patio, his elbows resting on the railing as he gazed up at the night sky. The doors closed quietly behind Steve as he strode over. Tony didn’t spare him a glance, simply holding up his sparkling cider in toast.

“I tried to tell them you would hate this. I knew you’d never go for it,” he offered dryly.

Steve remembered the conversation he’d overheard and he laughed quietly, moving in closer. “They planned all this without you?”

Wincing, Tony turned towards him. “Not quite. It wasn’t my idea but I helped with a lot of it.” He cocked his head to the side, adding, “Okay, Jan got really busy and I ended up doing most of it. But I thought for sure you would hate it. I simply tried to make it so you’d hate it less.”

Steve gazed at him, speechless for a moment. “Happy birthday, Winghead,” Tony whispered, his eyes soft and warm.

“I can’t believe you did all this.” He glanced back at the full house. “Even the vets from the USO lodge are here. I didn’t even know you knew about that place.”

“Contrary to popular belief, I am quite observant,” he replied, taking a sip of his cider, averting his gaze. “Especially when it comes to you.”

Steve warmed, reaching out to touch Tony’s arm. Blue eyes met his, almost hesitantly. Steve’s heart ticked up a beat. “Thanks, Tony.”

“Of course. It’s your big day. I wanted it to be special.”

His eyes glittered in the lanterns overhead, illuminating the patio in a soft, orange glow. Steve moved in before he took notice of it, his hands coming up to cup Tony’s cheeks as he pulled him into a kiss. Tony’s mouth fell open in surprise, a soft gasp escaping as Steve nosed in towards him, heart beating fast in his chest. Tony touched Steve’s wrists gently, holding on as something uncontrolled and a little frightening swelled within Steve. He was _kissing Tony_ and he couldn’t seem to stop, adrenaline coursing through his body and drawing him closer as he stole another and another and crowded Tony up against the railing.

When they finally pulled apart, Steve clenched his eyes shut, stepping back in a rush. Tony blinked at him, his lips red and slightly bruised. Steve fought the urge to pull him close again, bracing himself for the inevitable apology as Tony told him he couldn’t ever see him again.

Tony covered his mouth, his words muffled as he asked, “Did you – did you mean to do that?”

Steve nodded, biting his lips. “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry.” Tony nodded to himself, eyes darting away. “I really am. It’s just… all of this,” he explained gesturing towards the party. ‘And you’ve been so great these past few months and I just…” he licked his lips, drawing Tony’s gaze. “I think about you all the time and ever since you told me you found me attractive, I couldn’t stop wondering—”

Their lips met as a burst of red fireworks lit up the sky overhead.

Steve wondered if that was planned. Knowing Tony, it was a real possibility.

 

+

Dating Tony was better than Steve had ever dreamed.

For a while, nothing really changed. They still met up late at night, when Steve couldn’t sleep. That first night after the party, they left the diner and kissed outside. That second night out, they held hands on the walk back. That third night out, they shared a milkshake like something out of a 50s romantic comedy.

Aside from the few times Steve felt certain Tony was keeping secrets from him, they were more in sync than ever. Steve spent more time at the mansion than before and Tony made more of an effort to leave work in time to meet for dinner. Steve was happier than he’d been in a very long time.

Naturally, that couldn’t last long.

He was sharing breakfast with Tony when Clint dropped in, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. “You look happy,” he noted, pouring milk into his bowl. “Come to think of it, you’ve been a little ray of sunshine the past few months. What is that?”

Blinking at him, Steve looked to Tony for a second. “I’m just happy. Why is that strange?”

Clint’s response was muffled by the food in his mouth. “Well, nothing but, don’t get me wrong, you have your moments but you’re usually a lot more serious. I mean, when’s the last time you yelled at us for screwing up in the field?”

Frowning, Steve started to reply when Tony cut in, “Clint, are you actually complaining about that?” He tried to play it off for laughs but Steve was lost in thought.

When was the last time he’d gotten short with the team in the field? Hell, when was the last time he’d been in the field? When was the last time he’d gone on a recon mission for SHIELD? When was the last time he’d suited up? When’s the last time they’d had a callout?

Three months and he couldn’t recall.

Panicked, Steve stood from the table in a rush. Tony looked to him concernedly, “Hey, hey, Cap, what’s wrong?”

Running a hand over his head, Steve backed away slowly. “Nothing, nothing, I’ve just gotta… I need to go look something up.”

 

 

He started for the door, trying to recall the last time he’d been upset or angry. He couldn’t even recall the last time he’d had a day that was anything less than perfect. Not a stubbed toe or burned toast or a run in with Sharon when she was feeling less than peachy. He couldn’t even recall a run in with a pissed off cabbie and he lived in New York City.

In a wild moment, he leapt into the busy street, heart racing. Instead of hearing the familiar screech of brakes and a slew of curses, the closest sedan came to a quick halt, holding out a hand in apology. A woman approached him seconds later, a child’s hand in hers as she looked to him sincerely.

“Thank you so much, sir. My little Henry had just run out in the street chasing his yoyo.”

Gaping, Steve watched her cross the street in shock.

He called SHIELD but they didn’t need him for anything. He called Sam but he didn’t have any leads. He called Sharon but there wasn’t anything she could share. There was no one that needed help. No one that needed saving. No one having a rough time that wanted to take it out on him.

In a last ditch effort to test his string of luck, Steve tried practicing with one of SHIELD’s training LMDs and intentionally made a wrong move. Rather than neatly embed the knife in Steve’s thigh, the LMD glanced the tip along his side and sliced open his shirt. Steve destroyed it out of frustration and left the training room in a panic.

Something was going on here. He was having an impossible string of good luck and, in his line of work, that could only mean something sinister was at play here. Most likely some sort of magic and he had no shortage of enemies.

The sky lit up in a burst of lightning as Steve raced back to the mansion. He was soaked to the bone, his boots slipping on the slick floor as he raced up the stairs to Tony’s room. Well past three in the morning, Tony had actually been asleep. He answered the door in a pair of pajama pants and one of Steve’s old shirts.

Upon finding Steve dripping water on the wood floor, his eyes widened in concern. “Babe? What’s wrong? You’re shaking.” He reached out to pull Steve inside, tugging Steve’s shirt over his head. “You must be freezing. What were you doing out this late?”

He rushed into the bathroom to fetch a towel for Steve. Shivering, Steve welcomed the warm cloth over his shoulders. “Tony, something’s going on.”

“What?”

“I can’t – everything’s,” he struggled to explain. “Everything’s perfect.”

Tony stared at him, brow furrowed. “Okay? I don’t follow.”

“Everything’s going well. I’m happy, the city is safe, people keep thanking me for things.”

Tony smiled, trying to rub some warmth into Steve’s shoulders. “Babe, I don’t understand. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yes, I thought so, too but, today, I actively _tried_ to have a bad day. I tried drumming up work, stepping into traffic, tempting the training bots. Nothing.”

“You did what?” Tony demanded, eyes widening.

“I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t – this isn’t normal.”

Tony shook his head, pulling Steve with him as he backed up a few steps. His eyes softened as he whispered, “Steve, what you’re talking about is normal.” Steve opened his mouth and Tony hurried to add, “We’ve got a good thing going here and you’re freaking out because it’s so new. I get it. I’ve been there. Sometimes I still can’t believe we finally got our heads out of our asses and gave this a shot.”

Steve considered this for a moment. He was happy and it wouldn’t be the first time he’d second guessed a good thing because he was so used to there being a catch. Maybe Tony was right.

Still, “Tony, you don’t understand. I _tried_ to have a bad day and I couldn’t. Everything just…” _Worked out,_ his mind supplied, a chill running down his spine.

Tony cupped his face, kissing his lips softly. “Why are you doing this? We’re happy. This is working. Just embrace it and let yourself have a good thing for once.”

His mouth trailed down Steve’s throat, arousal pooling in his stomach as his objections fell away. Tony started on his zipper, pulling Steve into a searing kiss as he stepped out of his wet jeans. Hungry and demanding, Tony sucked on his tongue as he fell back on the bed. Groaning, Steve followed eagerly, tearing at Tony’s shirt and tugging his pants down.

Bare underneath, Tony writhed beneath him, panting as Steve nipped at his throat. His fingers found Steve’s damp hair, his cock rolling up against Steve’s stomach. No matter how many times Steve had imagined this, the real thing was so much better than he’d ever dreamed. Having Tony hard and dripping beneath him, his hushed moans in his ear as he bit down on his lip and rocked his hips against Steve’s.

Steve was hard and pressed tight against Tony’s hip. Tony took hold of the both of them, stroking tightly as Steve panted into his mouth. Everything happened so fast, the drumming of his heartbeat drowning out Tony’s hushed words in his ear.

“So good, Steve. Wanted this for so long. Wanted you.” His hips snapped, shuddering in Steve’s arms. “Want you inside me.”

Steve nosed into his throat, thrusting into Tony’s grip as his cock pulsed and spilled between them. Tony quickly followed, his hand tightening as he milked their release. Steve ground against him, sticky and wet, chasing the soft sounds Tony tried to stifle. Finishing with a sigh, Tony pulled him into a kiss as the storm raged on outside.

+

Steve awoke alone.

He sat up, listening intently until he heard the muffled sounds of Tony’s voice. He padded over to the door where he heard the tail end of Tony’s conversation.

“… asking me to exploit that to get him to sign on for something he would never go for.” A pause. “Because it goes against every single one of his beliefs. Every time one of us saves the city and something inadvertently gets destroyed, you guys try to push another bill through. I’m not helping you do this.”

Tony quieted and Steve heard the sounds of the floorboards as he paced. Then, “I’ll do what needs to be done to protect the country but I can’t keep having these conversations with you. Steve’s starting to ask questions.”

Steve froze, straightening up as the doorknob turned. He rushed into the bathroom, starting the shower as he heard Tony pad softly across the floor. A few moments passed and then Tony appeared, naked with a teasing smile for Steve.

“Perfect timing,” he greeted, moving in closer. “Mind if I join you?”

+

Steve watched Tony closely.

Asked questions, surprised him at work, made a habit of never announcing his presence when he fetched Tony from his office. Best he could tell, Tony was regularly communicating with someone outside of the team about some new legislation. Something Steve would absolutely hate and, odds were, it was something to do with regulation of superhumans. Something Tony had kept secret from everyone he cared about. Everyone that counted on him to be honest with them.

Once again, Tony had pulled the wool over their eyes.

Perhaps Tony had been right and he wasn’t at the mercy of some magical curse. He’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop and here it was: he was in love with a man that was lying to him constantly. Worst of all, Steve had begun to wonder if this entire thing had been a ploy.

What if Tony had been playing him from the beginning and exploiting Steve’s obvious feelings for him?

After all, Steve had thought he’d hidden them well but Tony was brilliant. And as he’d mentioned the night of Steve’s party, he was incredibly observant. What if he’d known the entire time how Steve felt for him and waited for the perfect moment to use that? A time when he’d need an easy way to distract Steve from whatever he was planning behind his team’s backs. A time when Steve was desperate for a distraction from his sleepless nights.

Steve had made himself an easy target.

“Steve? You okay?” Tony asked over breakfast. At Steve’s look, he flashed a quick smile. “You’re staring at me. Something in my teeth?”

“No, I’m just thinking.” He took a deep breath, watching as Tony stood up and moved towards the fridge. Following, Steve waited until he’d closed the door before boxing him in, his voice firm. “Did you ever care about me?”

Tony’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“Did you ever really care about me?”

“What is this? Did I forget an anniversary?” he asked, laughing as he tried to move around Steve.

Steve stepped to the side, blocking his path. “You’ve been lying to me for months. I don’t know why, but you can guarantee that I’m going to find out.”

“Steve, what the hell are you talking about?” Tony asked, his eyes wide and concerned. He was a truly spectacular liar.

“All the secret phone calls. The meetings. You’ve been talking to someone behind our backs and I know it has something to do with me.”

“You’re really paranoid, you know that?”

“What are you hiding?”

Tony tried to push past him and Steve planted his hand on Tony’s chest, his voice rough. “I thought it was all in my head. After Mentallo and that thing with your armors, I thought maybe I was making it out to be more than it is. But you’ve been talking to someone in the government. I followed you.”

Tony swallowed, raising his chin. “Did you ever really trust me?”

“Don’t turn this around on me. Not now.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, but you’re allowed to stalk me and listen in on my phone calls? Do you know how that makes me feel?”

“Who were you talking to?” Steve demanded.

“None of your business!”

“You were talking about me!”

“You’re just looking for any reason to ruin this! You won’t just let yourself be happy!”

“But I’m not happy, Tony! I can’t sleep. I’m spending all my time following you around, trying to figure out your secrets. Wondering if any of this was real or that was all in my head, too. I don’t trust anyone. I don’t trust the team. I don’t know who you’re working with. I don’t know if SHIELD’s in on it. I’m not happy! This is—”

Tony stared at him silently, waiting.

Steve swallowed, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled to breathe. The room started to spin, eyes darting around as he took in the wood grain on the cabinets, the magnets on the fridge he didn’t recognize, the table that wasn’t quite the right size.

“This is my nightmare,” he finished.

Just like that, Tony and the mansion disappeared.

Steve was engulfed in darkness, hanging with his arms above his head as Nightmare stalked towards him. The demon smiled, cupping Steve’s chin in his cold fingers.

“You couldn’t just let yourself be happy,” he chided. “I put a lot of work into this. I studied everything I could find on you and that mansion. On the man that kept showing up in your head.”

“What is this?” Steve rasped, his mouth dry, lips cracked.

“You were getting in my way. I didn’t have time for you and your blonde girlfriend meddling in my plans so I gave you something to do. I gave you your _dream._ ” Steve blinked slowly, vision blurring as he tried to focus. The demon wagged a finger at him. “Funny thing about you, Captain. I thought I had you figured out.”

_Steve!_

“Most people dream about simple things. Finding love, money, fame, envy. Some dream about revenge, saving the world, being reunited with the dead. Not you. No, it wasn’t enough for you to have a team that got along swimmingly. To have Stark as your little lap dog. No, you kept wanting more. More of his attention and his company. And then you wanted his affection.”

He paced a few steps. “I gave you everything you wanted and then I planned to take it all away.” He returned to Steve, studying him intently. “You’re a curious one. Everything you wanted is everything you feared. Stark being honest with you and revealing his deceptions. Stark accepting your affection and using that to blind you. Stark earning your trust and using that against you. You finally got him and you weren’t able to change a damn thing about him.

_Steve!_

“Your dream and your nightmare were one and the same.”

Steve stared at him, his heart beating startlingly fast in his chest. There was a voice in his head, a reoccurring sound that he couldn’t quiet. He tried to focus, tried to gather any strength left in his body to pull at the chains holding him up but he was so weak.

Nightmare started to say more when his eyes widened and he disappeared in an instant. There was a loud crash and the sounds of boots rushing towards him. That familiar sound of Tony’s thrusters as the room exploded into sound.

“What’s going on? Is Steve okay?” Wanda.

“No sign of anyone else.” Simon.

“Back door is clear.” Jennifer.

“Steve? Steve, are you okay?” Tony. Steve’s chest tightened, head dropping down as he felt Tony’s bare hands on his face. “Stay with me. We’re going to get you out of here.”

+

When Steve awoke, it was light outside.

Unlike before, he was tired, his body sore. He was lying in a bed, the steady beep of monitors nearby. Beneath that, quiet snoring. He opened his eyes to find Tony asleep in a chair in the corner. Chin in hand, dressed in his undersuit.

Steve shifted in bed, struck with the memory of Tony’s lips, the feeling of him shuddering in pleasure beneath him. He tried to sit up, the heart monitor ticking up a bit and waking Tony from his doze.

He rubbed at his eyes, sitting up straight. Upon finding Steve awake, a smile spread across his face. Steve warmed, offering a small smile in return.

“Hey, Cap. Good to see you awake. We were all worried about you.”

“How long was I out?” he rasped.

“Not sure,” Tony replied, his mouth twisting. “A few days passed before we realized you were missing. We knew you were chasing down leads with Sharon and we wanted to give you time.”

“Is Sharon okay?”

“She’s fine. Working on a recon mission.” Tony’s face hardened as he added, “It was my fault.”

“Tony,” Steve began.

“I should have gone looking for you sooner. It was just… I thought maybe you were avoiding me because you were still mad about Mentallo and with the way things have been with Carol, I didn’t want to lose another one of my friends. I thought you just needed time. When Sam came to me because he hadn’t seen you in a full week, I realized my mistake. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“I have to. You mean so much to me,” Tony said, leaning forward in his chair. “If I lost you, I don’t know what I would do.”

Steve studied him for a moment, the furrow in Tony’s brow. Eerily familiar and different all the same from his nightmare. “I don’t blame you. This wasn’t your fault.” Tony nodded, but Steve knew he didn’t believe it.

Tony had always taken it hard when he failed to protect Steve. He’d always tried to protect Steve from everything, comfort him, take care of him, look out for him when he arrived in the future. Nightmare had twisted that into what he’d thought Steve wanted.

But, was there a chance Tony wanted that too? Steve made a choice.

Clearing his throat, “About what I saw in there, it wasn’t all bad.”

“How do you mean?”

Heart pounding, Steve stumbled over his next words. “At first, it was—”

There was a knock on the door. Steve looked over as a brunette poked her head into the room. “Sorry to interrupt but, I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Steve frowned at her, starting to respond as Tony stood up. “Hi, sorry, I fell asleep and lost track of time. Steve, this is Rumiko,” he said with a smile, taking her hand. “I’m totally late for a date but, I had to check up on my favorite Captain.”

Throat tightening, Steve forced a smile on his face. “I’m your only captain.”

Tony laughed, waving farewell as he started towards the door. “That you know of.”

Tony shot him a smile and quietly closed the door behind himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Nightmare is such a strange name for a villain. I couldn't find any sign that this guy had a different name at any point. 
> 
> This does end with the canonical relationship between Tony and Rumiko. 
> 
> For the "plot twist" square on my bingo card.
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr!](https://capn-shellhead.tumblr.com)


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